Penis size anxiety can present as anything from a concern that it isn’t big enough to impress, which may contribute to performance anxiety in sex and erectile disorder, to a form of body dysmorphia characterised by an obsession with the organ and frequent checking and measuring of it (Veale, Miles, Read, Troglia, Wylie & Muir 2015). Either way, for some men it’s enough of an issue that they may seek help from a therapist.

Small penis anxiety – What sort of therapeutic interventions might help?

As a hypnotherapist I take an integrated approach to addressing issues like small penis anxiety which involves selecting therapeutic techniques that suit the specific needs of the person I’m working with. Certain elements occur more frequently than other.

Treating small penis anxiety – Trauma

Although rare, a man may have lived experience of their penis size being criticized or mocked. Typically this is traumatizing if the person mocking them has reason to know their penis size, for example if a sexual comments or if they are teased by people whom they have shared a locker room. This can take what might otherwise be an amorphous dissatisfaction with their penis size and turn it into a specific trauma which creates an anxiety. If the person hasn’t processed this it is likely to be an active component powering their anxiety, as such techniques like EMDR can be employed to process the trauma.

Treating small penis anxiety Cognition and undermining inner voice

The patient may have developed beliefs which undermine his confidence. Typical examples might be “I’m too small”, “with my small cock I can’t please a women” or “she’ll laugh at me when she sees my small cock”. These beliefs are examined with the patient to assess how realistic they are, and often a new, more acceptable, belief will be agreed.

Identified beliefs can then be addressed in hypnosis by replacement with new ones. To do this a hypnotherapist may use suggestion or visualizations, which combine amnesia for the old idea and acceptance of the new one. Alternatively, EMDR may be used to remove the emotional power from the old belief, and to install a new one.

When a belief is in the form of an inner voice, be that the patients own or someone else’s, it can be disrupted with various visualizations or through the use of parts therapy. New voices can be introduced which replace the old voice with more helpful material, for example if an ex partner has complemented their penis in the past, then reminding them of that experience can be quite beneficial.

Treating small penis anxiety – Systematic desensitization

Systematic desensitization is based on relaxation which makes it especially helpful with sexual problems as sexual response is mediated by the parasympathetic nervous system, the bodies relaxation system, so being relaxed tends to make everything sexual work better.

The therapist helps the patient to create a structured group of situations which may involve a degree of penis size anxiety. These are organised  into the least anxiety provoking (for example, wearing baggy trunks at the beach) to the most anxiety provoking (such as getting naked in front of a new sexual partner). The therapist then takes the patient through these situations, one at a time, whilst giving suggestions for relaxation. With each situation the body and mind are learning to be relaxed about the situation. When a person is relaxed, they feel safe, which allows them to transfer this feeling of relaxation into their life.

Treating small penis anxiety with hypnotherapy

It can be seen that between reducing trauma, challenging unhelpful beliefs and retraining the bodily response to anxiety that much can be done to help the man whose penis size anxiety has become problematic. However, we have detailed only a few of the most common approaches that a hypnotherapist may take to help someone with small penis anxiety to become more relaxed and confident about themselves.

Always remember that the therapist is an expert on therapy, and the patient is an expert on themselves, and that choice of techniques used should involve both sets of expertise.

References

Veale, D., Miles, S., Read, J., Troglia, A., Wylie, K., & Muir, G. (2015). Sexual functioning and behavior of men with body dysmorphic disorder concerning penis size compared with men anxious about penis size and with controls: a cohort study. Sexual Medicine, 3(3), 147-155.e

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Hypnotherapy is the combination of traditional hypnosis with suggestion, imagery and psychotherapeutic techniques to help achieve change, but what does this really mean? In this blog we are going to look at the structure of a  hypnotherapy session in detail so you know what to expect.

What happens in a hypnotherapy session?

Traditionally a hypnotherapy breaks down in to 5 sections

1. Talk – It doesn’t matter if you are on your first session or fifth the hypnotherapist is going to take a little time to chat.  This will normally be about the condition you have come to work on so the hypnotherapist can get a clearer picture to aid in the hypnotherapy Don’t be surprised if you find you are discussing your work and leisure interests, such information can be very helpful to the hypnotherapist.
2. Induction & deepening of hypnosis – Getting into hypnosis for hypnotherapy reasons is usually achieved through relaxation or focusing exercises. Several exercises may be presented to allow you to access the right level of trance for you. The hypnotic trance itself will usually leave you aware of your surroundings.
3. The therapy – Once you are comfortable in the trance the formal therapy begins, this could be:

• Visualisation – An exercise which uses the imagination to convey ideas to the unconscious mind.  A good example is imagining a warm colour to help relax muscles.
• Suggestions – These are simple direct ideas which the hypnotherapist ‘suggests’ to the unconscious mind, for example “you have no desire to smoke”. Suggestions are the most direct tool most hypnotherapists employ, and yet there is still a lot more skill to crafting a suggestion than most people would believe.
• Psychotherapy – hypnotherapy uses knowledge from many ‘schools’ of psychotherapy including Behavioural psychology, Psychodynamics, Cognitive psychology, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) and Mindfulness based approaches. The hypnotherapist will select approaches based on what they think will fit with your personal psychology and condition.

4. Awakening – You will be brought back to full waking consciousness so that you are fully orientated to the present.
5. Homework – Hypnotherapy is usually accompanied by some form or task or action. This could be as simple as throwing all your cigarettes away, but is most commonly a relaxation or self-hypnosis exercise.

Hopefully this understanding makes it a little more comfortable to go for hypnotherapy.

The author –

Matt is a hypnotherapists in Birmingham with over 16 years experience. He has taught hypnotherapy around the world in universities and medical school and specialises in the treatment of anxiety conditions. He is currently conducting research into the treatment of Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) with hypnosis.

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