Therapy for bereavement and grief

by | Dec 12, 2025 | bereavement, grief

Bereavement and grief are the experience a loss which feels like it will change life forever. Mostly we think of bereavement in relation to the loss of close relatives and friends, but it can apply to any thing we lose that can change life, such as;

  • Beloved pets.
  • Careers and job roles.
  • Relationships.
  • Fertility.
  • Dreams and ambitions.
  • life stages.
  • Many more things…

Common initial reactions to bereavement include;

  • Feeling alone or abandoned.
  • Feeling powerless in the face of larger forces.
  • Playing the ‘what if?’ game your head as you imagine ways in which the bereavement never happened.
  • Scrabbling for ‘solutions’; a new pet, a new career, a new relationship.

All of which are natural. Being bereaved is natural and can be a healthy process, but we can become stuck in it and end up in an unhealthy state of bereavement.

Healthy bereavement and grief

It is natural to be sad when we lose someone or something. In a healthy bereavement journey a person experiences upsetting feelings and then reaches a point where they emotionally accept the change. This process of emotional acceptance may involve;

  • Bereavement rituals; funeral, clearing out of the deceased’s clothing.
  • Emotional release, typically crying.
  • Thinking and dreaming about the lost person (or whatever the loss maybe).
  • Talking extensively with friends, family or a therapist about the loss.
  • An active process of construction of a new life.

This is not a smooth process., but eventually through these means emotional acceptance gradually grows. The bereaved person is likely to start finding that when they remember what they have lost it is with a gentle fondness. Gradually, these golden memories become a source of strength. However, for various reasons some people become stuck in bereavement.

Stuck in grief

When a person cannot process their grief, they often become stuck in it. There are a number of reasons why this  occurs;

  • They never had the chance to say a proper goodbye.
  • Unfinished business. Things left unsaid, issues not resolved, etc.
  • Fear of the power of the emotions or the instability which will be unlocked by admitting that their world has been changed.
  • Too much going on in life which prevent functional processing, typically being too busy in one way or another to grieve.
  • The inability to conceive of a new life.
  • Pressure, either from themselves or from wider society, to get over it, move on etc.

Any one of these could be a reason for a person to not be able to move from grief to emotional acceptance.

How can therapy help?

There are a number of ways in which a therapist can help someone with grief;

  • If the grief is recent the therapist can provide the supportive space to work through the various elements of that bereavement.
  • They can facilitate the expression of trapped emotion.
  • Provide the cushioning required to engage with powerful feelings.
  • Help perceive what a new life might look like and address barriers to that.
  • If grief rituals have been missed, they may help to develop ones that meet this need even though the traditional ones may no longer be available.

A therapist will listen to you and in so doing help to identify which elements of the bereavement experience have been missed, inhibited or interrupted in some way. Having done so they will look to help you move those areas forward.

The author

Dr Matt Krouwel PhD is a hypnotherapists in Birmingham (UK) with over 25 years experience. He is a member of both the NCH and BSCH.

Bereavement and grief