As you may have read in my blog on small penis anxiety, studies have found that up to 55% of men are unsatisfied with the size of their penis. The origins of small penis anxiety appear to be in our deep evolutionary past and are kept present by cultural factors.

Penis size anxiety can present as anything from a concern that it isn’t big enough to impress, which may contribute to performance anxiety in sex and erectile disorder, to a form of body dysmorphia characterised by an obsession with the organ and frequent checking and measuring of it (Veale, Miles, Read, Troglia, Wylie & Muir 2015). Either way, for some men it’s enough of an issue that they may seek help from a therapist.

Small penis anxiety – What sort of therapeutic interventions might help?

As a hypnotherapist I take an integrated approach to addressing issues like small penis anxiety which involves selecting therapeutic techniques that suit the specific needs of the person I’m working with. Certain elements occur more frequently than other.

Treating small penis anxiety – Trauma

Although rare, a man may have lived experience of their penis size being criticized or mocked. Typically this is traumatizing if the person mocking them has reason to know their penis size, for example if a sexual comments or if they are teased by people whom they have shared a locker room. This can take what might otherwise be an amorphous dissatisfaction with their penis size and turn it into a specific trauma which creates an anxiety. If the person hasn’t processed this it is likely to be an active component powering their anxiety, as such techniques like EMDR can be employed to process the trauma.

Treating small penis anxiety Cognition and undermining inner voice

The patient may have developed beliefs which undermine his confidence. Typical examples might be “I’m too small”, “with my small cock I can’t please a women” or “she’ll laugh at me when she sees my small cock”. These beliefs are examined with the patient to assess how realistic they are, and often a new, more acceptable, belief will be agreed.

Identified beliefs can then be addressed in hypnosis by replacement with new ones. To do this a hypnotherapist may use suggestion or visualizations, which combine amnesia for the old idea and acceptance of the new one. Alternatively, EMDR may be used to remove the emotional power from the old belief, and to install a new one.

When a belief is in the form of an inner voice, be that the patients own or someone else’s, it can be disrupted with various visualizations or through the use of parts therapy. New voices can be introduced which replace the old voice with more helpful material, for example if an ex partner has complemented their penis in the past, then reminding them of that experience can be quite beneficial.

Treating small penis anxiety – Systematic desensitization

Systematic desensitization is based on relaxation which makes it especially helpful with sexual problems as sexual response is mediated by the parasympathetic nervous system, the bodies relaxation system, so being relaxed tends to make everything sexual work better.

The therapist helps the patient to create a structured group of situations which may involve a degree of penis size anxiety. These are organised  into the least anxiety provoking (for example, wearing baggy trunks at the beach) to the most anxiety provoking (such as getting naked in front of a new sexual partner). The therapist then takes the patient through these situations, one at a time, whilst giving suggestions for relaxation. With each situation the body and mind are learning to be relaxed about the situation. When a person is relaxed, they feel safe, which allows them to transfer this feeling of relaxation into their life.

Treating small penis anxiety with hypnotherapy

It can be seen that between reducing trauma, challenging unhelpful beliefs and retraining the bodily response to anxiety that much can be done to help the man whose penis size anxiety has become problematic. However, we have detailed only a few of the most common approaches that a hypnotherapist may take to help someone with small penis anxiety to become more relaxed and confident about themselves.

Always remember that the therapist is an expert on therapy, and the patient is an expert on themselves, and that choice of techniques used should involve both sets of expertise.

References

Veale, D., Miles, S., Read, J., Troglia, A., Wylie, K., & Muir, G. (2015). Sexual functioning and behavior of men with body dysmorphic disorder concerning penis size compared with men anxious about penis size and with controls: a cohort study. Sexual Medicine, 3(3), 147-155.e